nicole

bitches ain't shit

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:38:51 GMT

Wow. I've completely neglected this thing. It's good to see all of my friends updating it from time to time.

I am looking foward to looking at all my old posts and seeing the growth and change that's been going on for several years.

I am dehydrated and feel like a bloated whale, due to all of the liquids im consuming at the moment.

How do you know?

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 02:28:22 GMT

Week 2.
Week 1 was a definite change of pace in my life. I realized many things about people that I truly cared about and those that I didn't. I also learned a few things about myself and what I want to accomplish by the end of the summer that will hopefully transcend into the rest of my life. I cried, overslept, overworked myself and yet, I feel great. I quit many things last week that I thought were important to me, things I thought what made me, me. But who really knows who they really are. Or do people actually know what kind of person they are? (Do I have a personality disorder? ha). I feel more centered, more motivated than I have in awhile. And that's that.

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 17:35:36 GMT

I've disapeared.

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 02:26:53 GMT

15 New places to find someone new to date:

-Volunteer at a local hospital or soup kitchen
-Sip on Lattes at Starbucks
-Wander the aisles at Barnes & Noble
-Join a club or organization
-Take up a hobby you've always wanted to try (i.e., pottery, bowling, photography)
-Sign up for an adult education class or one-day workshop
-Roam the shopping mall
-Visit your local laundromat
-Browse the aisles of your local health food store or grocery store
-Take in the art at a museum
-Roam around the zoo
-Enjoy an outdoor concert
-Join an online chat room
-Keep fit at a health club or sporting facility
-Attend a conference, convention, or lecture on a cultural topic
...Advice taken from about.com

This advice is all being considered since I ended a great friendship (for me, it was more emotional) and having a semi-good date with no follow-up.

I am not looking for a boyfriend, just new friends. I lost one of two of my best friends...the other is back in the d. So, all in all....whose free this weekend? :)

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 21:21:44 GMT

GONE.
See's you all in a few weeks.

Thu, 04 May 2006 16:18:14 GMT

Last night, I pulled my groin.
I rode DICK for less than a minute and then fell right off.
Btw, Dick is a mechanical bull.

Tue, 02 May 2006 11:37:27 GMT

So, I will be in Spain for 3 weeks this summer with the family. Another Griswald vacation.
Dad emails me this morning to tell me that the trip will be shortened by 5 days because my mom needs to be back in the states for work.
Good News: We are going to Spain AGAIN for thanksgiving.
Im such a lucky lucky girl.
ahhhhhhhh...... this will be my third trip to Spain. :)

Un dia sin immigrantes

Mon, 01 May 2006 22:47:31 GMT

Today, May 1st, was the start of something beautiful.
Immigrants legal and illegal took part of marches and protests all across the country.
To show my support, I wore white. Even though I could not take part in the protests (exam conflict), I wanted to show my support.
My mother was born and raised in Chile. She is a Alien and has no interest in becoming a U.S. citizen. Being raised in a home with both english and spanish and having a strong Chilean cultural background, I have a strong emotional connection with latinos everywhere. Whether they are Mexican, Cuban or Columbian, latinos must unite.
I am hopeful that there will be change with the current immigration laws. I also hope that DC does not make them tougher than they already are.
I could write forever about my views on illegal immigrants, but I won't.
I will just say this: Latinos are the backbone of this country. People who disagree must stop and look at who is cooking their food when they go to dinner, who washes their cars, who picks the fruit that are found in the grocery stores?
The answer: Latinos.

Edit: 1990

Immigration Act of 1990. The annual immigration ceiling is further raised to 700,000 for 1992, 1993, and 1994; thereafter, the ceiling will drop to 675,000 a year. Ten thousand permanent resident visas are offered to those immigrants agreeing to invest at least $1 million in U.S. urban areas or $500,000 in U.S. rural areas. The McCarran-Walter Act of 1952 is amended so that people can no longer be denied admittance to the United States on the basis of their beliefs, statements, or associations.

1996

Immigration Act. In an effort to curb illegal immigration, Congress votes to double the U.S. Border Patrol to 10,000 agents over five years and mandates the construction of fences at the most heavily trafficked areas of the U.S.-Mexico border. Congress also approves a pilot program to check the immigration status of job applicants.

1996

Immigrants lose benefits. President Clinton signs welfare reform bill that cuts many social programs for immigrants. Legal immigrants lose their right to food stamps and Supplemental Security Income (a program for older, blind, and disabled people). Illegal immigrants become ineligible for virtually all federal and state benefits except emergency medical care, immunization programs, and disaster relief.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:47:43 GMT

5-8 single spaced paper, I'm half way done. 48 hours to go.
I hope I can do it.

3-5 page paper due on Thursday, wont even get started till Tuesday night

Econ homework too...Wednesday

Two presentations: Tuesday and Thursday

Group Project due Thursday: Website.

This all needs to be done in the next 4 days.
Can I get a little FAITH in this house of god?! Hallejuah! AMEN

Ps. I got five finals the following week

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 21:15:15 GMT

1. I cannot listen to an entire song. I must change it after a minute or two.
2. I'm deathly afarid of ghosts and aliens. If I saw one, I would pass out and have some heart thing and die.
3. If my parents died, I couldn't make it through life without them. I would probably kill myself.
4. I sleep in this position since I was young when I put my right hand under my pillow, the left arm on the side....while lying on my belly and facing the wall (so i cant see any ghosts and aliens).
5. My life dream is to climb Mount Everest....and I don't care if I never make it down alive.
6. All of my books have bookmarks in the middle. It takes me 2-3 years to pick it up and finish reading it, from where I left off.

tara, craig, angela, katie,

put up six weird things about you.

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 01:43:22 GMT

why do i hurt myself?
why do i cause pain?

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 02:39:42 GMT

I bought a cheap version of the "rabbit" yesterday.
My vagina broke it within an hour.
Penises, stay away

ahhaha

that was my week....thus far....

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 01:02:40 GMT

Do any of you believe in good karma and in bad karma??

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:20:32 GMT

My day started off horrible:
-Econ Exam
-Huge project for tommorrow that is two days late
-I lost my mp3 player and my cool new headphones

BUT THEN, my day got better!!!!
I was informed that my dad is buying me my cousin's old car!! MY VERY FIRST CAR!!! It was supposed to be a surprise, but the cat got out of the bag and now I am OVERLY EXCITED....Am I 16?
....I'll be getting it in a month.....

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 21:20:48 GMT

I love being 21 and still have my little crushes! I won't say who...should i send them a "wanna date me, yes or no?" letters like we did in grade school?
I think at our age, it should be revised to: "wanna have a fun night of sex and shit? circle yes or no."

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 16:02:16 GMT

Saw Magnolia Electric Company yesterday in Ann Arbor.
I met Jason Molina...after being told he was an asshole, I was scared shitless to talk to him!
After the show, I started to say that he was an asshole for not playing "Riding with the ghost". Amy then stops me and says, "He's standing right next to you"....I am pretty sure he heard me because he kept looking over at me...I finally say, "JASON!"...we then met, he commented on my shirt from Athens (which no one complements...found out hes kinda of an artist), we talked and that was it. NOT AN ASSHOLE!!
Wow, what a good night.

I also hung out at beaner's till 230..or was it 330? with Bro, Jenn and Kevin. I wasn't myself...I was uncomfortable at times..my spotlight, my wit was stolen, I was NOT the Nicole that people know.
...I may have an idea why i acted the way I did.....but i won't say, it'll make me look foolish.
I am TRYING to move on. I swear! My best, love is fading..not as fast as I want it to!

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 04:06:59 GMT

Missed an AMAZING show tonite. b/c lack of car.
It's okay! It's another day up for me, make it 16?

PS. Im TOTALLY getting married to Jason Von Bondie. ahah jk.

PS2: I have a right to be pissed. I also have a right to be who I am and to stand my ground. 'nough said.

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 21:23:12 GMT

What a weekend!
Some unneccasary drama that has been cleared up, but I have a feeling things will be weird in the future.
Found out that some people don't really KNOW who you are...(that's a bitch).
How do you explain to someone that you have no harmful intentions, that you're a caring person and you are someone who would do anything for anybody.?
Lessons learned from this:
-being TOO nice gets you in trouble.
Do i have to start acting like a bitch?

ps: hamtramack is no longer a fun town..always have to watch your back, well in this case...see who is coming towards you.

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 16:39:20 GMT

I'm moody
Only because my stomach has grown
I'm sentimental
Only because I am working hard
:Tuesday

Its all about me

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 01:24:50 GMT

It comes time when you gotta throw the towel in and say FUCK THIS.
I am putting my life together
And with this, I may not see many of you for awhile
Its for my health
Its the right thing to do.

"I'll see you soon....."-Coldplay

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 01:34:41 GMT

waiting for someone to love
waiting for someone to love
your a cheshire cat.

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 15:33:03 GMT

Dec 15th:
Ps. I'm starting to lose hope on this one guy. I am PRETTY SURE he doesn't feel the same way about me, the way I feel about him. That's okay, because its God's way of saying that it isn't for me...I hope he has better plans for me. :)

Dec 10th:
hasnt been said
wont be said for awhile
i can wait
i can wait
for you

"To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me"
-aqualung

Dec 7th:
i am going to tell him that im in love
ive felt this way for almost 2 years now
ive had enough
it needs to be said

Nov 8th
I'm in a situation right now where I really like a person and they don't know it.
I'm going to have to be patient.
It'll catch up to him... to him and I, eventually.

Jul 9th, 2004
Another person's heart beat against mine makes everything so much better.

I have more and more entries of this one guy, who I previously thought was everything.
I was wrong....
he doesnt see me in the same way I see him.

I asked God last night, to help me cope with my emotions and to send someone to help me.
This morning, as I was walking to class, I ran into my counseler. I have always referred to him as my guardian angel. He goes, "Nicole! Today is my lucky day! I ran into you! I never see you!...I'm gonna go buy a lottery ticket,"
I smile and say I have to run to class....It was then, when I knew, that everything was going be okay. I knew this because my angel told me so.

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 00:54:53 GMT

Love.
It is a crazy thing....
I took this from my friend's livejournal and i think i agree with it.

Webster’s dictionary says that love is:
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love
Have you ever stopped to think if love really means what it is “defined” as? Or is it truly something that we develop mentally and think of in our own way? Is it even real? Or is just something we thrive on by thinking it is real? No one can describe love; they just say “you will know”, as in saying you will know when you are “in love”. Well, to be honest, I have thought and always told people that I have been in love with one person ever and it started in the summer of 2001. Now I question myself and wonder if that love is even real? I know I have “tricked” myself (or shall I say mass media tricked me) into thinking I was in love twice. The first time I thought I was in love (but real was not) was just that big love cloud casting over me and telling me this is love, marry it. It was the typical “everything you want romantically from a man” relationship. I was 100 percent stuck on it, “how could anything be better than this?” Everyone would see us, see the romance, see the love, but can you really see love? Or is it that they were seeing the love that Chandler and Monica had on Friends in two everyday non-televised real people? My friends, the type of love I am describing here is fake love. It is the type of love that almost every single one of is a victim of. I question myself, after reading the first few pages of Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs, as to whether I have ever truly been and in “real” love and if not will I ever. If I lived up to Webster’s definition of love then that would actually mean I would have loved many people by now. I mean is says “attraction based on sexual desire”. Ok, so I have loved as many people as I have sex with? That is not right. This definition is in a lot of ways in ambiguous. Going back to the topic of fake love, is that why I love Coldplay so much? Chuck Klosterman talks about how Coldplay produces “melodramatic alt-rock songs abour fake love”. Maybe I am so obsessed with them because I am obsessed with fake love. I really do thrive off the fact that one day I hope to have that love, the love that Sandy and Kirsten have on The O.C. or that of Allie and Noah in The Notebook. I dream about the romance, the sex, and just what I think is love. Well, guess what? It is all fake. No one is able to reach that ability to love another because it would be far too easy and loving another person is probably one of the hardest things humans have to do. Have you ever stopped to think about what exactly is needed and put into loving another person? I mean I guess loving someone else can be easy for the people that are naturals, but for us fake lovers. How are we supposed to change? I think about the love that I feel that I have for another person. I ask myself, “Is it real? Do I truly feel this way about this person or is it make believe? Am I really just in love with the love I think we have and not the person?” I mean you can love someone but not like them right? So why would you love them if you do not like them? I do not get it. Is it because of the good things they have offered you because you obvious do not love the bad? I mean when I am trying to get over someone that, for example, just broke up with me, I have a hard time. I look at all the good times I had with them and dream about having those all the time while forgetting about all the bad times and not even considering having those all the time. I just tell myself, “Well, I am sure they will change, they can’t get any worse, can they?” Of course they can, but at the same time, most likely they won’t get any better either. I do not think about that, so it takes me forever times one thousand to get over them. Same thing goes for deciding whether you really love someone, are you just in love with the good times you had with them? Or you actually in love with them, meaning you love the good and the bad (and you do not try to phase out the bad)? It truly is a question. I hope to keep continuing this. It is very enjoying to me. Keep checking. I will update soon. Ciao.

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 22:52:39 GMT

I fucking hate writing papers.
I rather get punched in the face than write a damn policy analysis.

...i must cave in and buy another pack of cigarettes...
or i will lose it.

heroin is so passe

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 18:21:06 GMT

This quitting thing is a bitch. I bought some nicorette on Thursday, thinking that this one $40 pack would cure me, but after reading the back of it and doing some calculations, I have to do this program for 12 weeks...and buy a pack every week.. That's several hundreds of dollars right there. I knew I was in trouble and highly unmotivated by the cost factor. SO...I bought a book. Did you know that most women who quit smoking gain 15 pounds?! That terrified me! So, the book will address those issues and help me succeed in keeping the weight off while I quit smoking.

I didn't think I'd end up in that "one pack a day" catergory. I thought, "People are so stupid...who smokes that much!?" And now I'm part of that "stupid group". I thought back to why I got to be this way, the "smoker" among all my friends...Last semester, I worked 30 hours a week and I was taking 20 credits..To keep my self "sane", I smoked..and I smoked..and I got to the point where I would roll out of bed in the morning and head straight to 7-11 for a pack.. It got that bad! I also have been in the best mood since I started here at msu. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I struggled with it for two years and was constantly on medication. It was a battle. And magically, I got off the meds 5 months ago and I feel amazing. But the funny thing is, I started smoking everday about 5 months ago...so I got off one thing and moved on to another addictive behavior.

So it all comes down to this..If i quit smoking, what will I become addicted to next?
SEX?